The Friend Zone


I never really dated anyone before B. Now before you go thinking anything, let me clarify. I had “dated” a couple boys in middle school, but it wasn’t serious, it was more of just an awkward title that didn’t last very long. Also know that I wasn’t convicted not to date and I sure wasn’t innocent, I was just too afraid to date anyone.

Anytime I got close enough to a guy and we started talking more, I could feel the relationship get awkward. You know what I mean? It happens right before you both say how you feel about each other. The point right before, when you are still not sure but you have a pretty good idea and at any moment he could ask you out or tell you how he feels. At that point I would run. Not literally, though I was known to physically avoid people. I would just put up walls. I didn’t really know why I did it, other than I was afraid things were going too fast. I liked things the way they were, as friends. It could have turned into something more, but to be honest, no guy ever waited long enough. Once they realized they were in the “friend zone” they moved on and I was left with a lot of guys that were friends but no potential boyfriends.

I wanted one. Throughout high school I did want a boyfriend, but no one waited and I was too scared to jump into anything.

B and I at a bonfire before we were dating, just hanging out.

B and I at a bonfire before we were dating, just hanging out.

I used to think that it was because I was afraid of breaking up. Although I myself had never been through a serious break up, I had seen many people, friends and even my sister go through heart breaking, gut wrenching break ups and I didn’t want any part of that. I also thought some of it might have been due to my old soul. I found middle school and even high school dating to be petty even silly. Relationships often ended before they ever really began, there was usually a lot of drama involved and they were messy. My closest friends also didn’t date, so that might have had something to do with it.

It wasn’t until my wedding day though, that I found out the real reason behind it. You see, all along B’s momma was praying for B’s future wife, that she would be kept safe and protected. B himself was praying for his wife, that she wouldn’t go through anything painful, that her heart wouldn’t be broken. And I just so happened to be fearful enough to not date anyone.

Some people may say it’s coincidence but that’s a lot of weight to put in something that “just happened.” No, I believe in something bigger than that, something purposeful, someone loving. I also now (after the fact) believe in the power of prayer.

So it just so happened that this boy that I just happened to grow up with was around long enough for me to feel comfortable and not afraid that I could say yes when he asked me out.

B was comfortable in the “friend zone” because we had always been friends and when we started getting to know each other, we did so as friends.

It was awkward at times and I was afraid sometimes but I always felt safe and I had never felt that way before. So after “talking,” the term most commonly used for two people that like each other that hang but are not dating, for nearly 6 months, B asked me out.

Still not dating yet...

Still not dating yet...

It happened sometime in June after graduation. B asked me out in the hallway of my parent’s house. Real romantic right? To be honest it was really awkward. I was walking him out to his car and we made it to the garage and then he said he had something to talk about, so we went back inside, but only made it to the hallway. He told me he really liked being my friend and that he liked me more than just a friend. I did too and I said so, but I didn’t really know what he meant (I was naive).
Anyway, to make a long story short, he intended to actually ask me out, something really romantic because that’s how B is. So when he was talking to me in the hallway, he wasn’t actually asking me out, he was going to do that at a different time. But I didn’t know if he really liked me, I didn’t know if we were boyfriend and girlfriend yet, so the next time I saw him I asked….and ruined his romantic intentions, because that’s how I am.

So we were official after graduation and he was officially my boyfriend and I was the happiest girl in the world.

I felt loved, I felt cherished but most importantly I felt safe which is why I said yes.

Our story is beautifully woven together because it was designed to be so. The God of the universe that created the stars, that spoke the world into existence, wrote our story. This is why I’m sharing our story. Our story is evidence of something greater at work because a story like ours doesn’t just happen, it is planned for a purpose.

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