We were met with opposition the moment B asked me to marry him. At 20 most people still consider you to be a child, not yet an adult, surely too young to consider marriage.
But we disagreed. We were ready, we felt called, we wanted more.
B had once said that on his dying day, he wanted to be able to look our children in their eyes and tell them that he fought for every single moment with their mother.
And he did, we both fought, and it was worth it.
It hasn’t been without its challenges, the unique hard challenges that come with any two people doing life alongside one another, but it’s been worth it.
Not a day goes by that I regret our decision. I feel so entirely blessed, we have many things to be thankful for and one of them, is marrying young.
Here is a list of reasons why marrying young is worth it:
1. YOU GROW UP TOGETHER.
We were young when we were married and had and have a lot of growing up to do. The perks of getting married young means we get to do that growing up together. That means taxes, insurance, deaths, births, maturity, we get to tackle all of it together. And the really beautiful thing about is we get look back and see how much God has grown us.
2. YOU GET TO EXPERIENCE YOUR FIRSTS TOGETHER.
One person through it all. I bought B his first “legal” drink, B was there for my first. We rented our first apartment together. We bought my first car together. B was there for my college graduation and my first day as a teacher. I was there for his first day at the Police Academy and will be there for his graduation. All of life’s first are with each other.
3. YOU HAVE LITTLE TO COMPARE IT TO.
You likely never dated much before, at least not seriously. So you can learn from each other, learn how to communicate, how to love, how to be loved. We can experience firsts with one another in our relationship.
4. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE.
I never have to live on my own. I always have someone to come home to, someone I can snuggle with when I have had a bad day, someone who will encourage me when I am down. I always have a movie buddy, someone to cook me dinner when I’m too exhausted, to tuck me in when I am sick, to binge watch TV shows with.
5. YOU NEVER HAVE TO FIND A DATE.
Weddings, group hangouts, family parties I don’t have to worry. I’ve got my forever boyfriend. Fun night out, I’m good. I never have to find a date again or go on awkward dates.
6. YOU HAVE MORE LIFE TOGETHER.
Isn’t that what we really want. To find your “true love” and live the rest of your life together. Why would you be against that starting as soon as it can? B and I fought to have as many days together as possible, and will continuously fought to have as many hours and as many seconds as we can.
7. YOU ENTER INTO EACH OTHER'S FAMILIES.
Two families become one. Getting married young means you aren’t too far off from living with your parents which likely means your siblings are still at home. For me, it meant B’s brothers became my brothers, not just legally but in my heart. I got to and get to spend weekends with them, spending quality time together as a family.
Marriage is beautiful at any point in your life, no matter your age. Two people laying down their lives for one another, pursuing one another, living intentionally, is beautiful. Getting married at an older age doesn't make it any more or less beautiful. It's just a different adventure.
My hope is to encourage and affirm young soon to be or already married couples.
Young marriage is beautiful and it comes with both trials and blessings.