Why The Ring Isn't Everything

Advice for new engaged couples and those who dream about their ring. Why the ring isn't everything.

If you were to pop a glance at my ring you might be surprised. In today’s world of Pinterest and the Knot.com, where bigger is better, my ring wouldn’t make the cut. In today’s world where men are “supposed” to spend a months salary or even three months salary mine wouldn’t measure up.


I’m not immune to the glitz and glamor that money can buy. I’ve seen those rings, they are beautiful, jaw-dropping, ritzy rings. I like them too. I pinned those kind of rings on Pinterest, and believe me B would have been thrilled to have bought one of those rings to on my finger.


But we had little money and I’m a simple girl. I wanted something simple, elegant but simple. Something that I wouldn’t bust, something practical because I use my hands a lot.


I was pretty forceful with my words in what I wanted {though to be honest I had no clue what I really wanted}. I regret not allowing B to openly choose, but the thing is he chose and it’s beautiful.


It might not be you, but it’s me.


Sure it’s not big, or fancy, or intricate, but it’s simple. And the story behind it is even more beautiful than the diamond itself.


B had been to many jewelry stores but not a single one took him serious. They all made snide remarks about him being cheap or unloving {I’m still a little sour can you tell?}. They said that he needed to spend more and that there was no way I would want such a simplistic ring.


He had bought several rings and returned them, not knowing if it was the one for me.


But then one day he went shopping with my best friend Madeleine and his brother. They had stopped at this coin shop in a quaint town nearby. They had looked through the rows of rings and almost walked out but Madeleine saw something.


What about that one?


She pointed to a quiet ring, sitting solemnly on the shelf. The clerk reached in and pulled it out. B and Madeleine took a closer and look and agreed it was THE ONE and it is the one that I wear on my finger today.


It represents persistence. The persistence my husband showed in searching for a ring for me, not one that all the clerks were trying to sell him but one for me. The same persistence my husband shows in his work, following his passions and pursuing his wife. His very persistence is one of the reasons we are together, he stuck around.


It represents faith. As we were led, we followed. Against opposition, against the current we took a leap of faith, trusting in God when we had no other answer except He will provide.


It represents love. When I look at my ring and remember the story behind it, I feel the love that came with it, from my husband, his parents, my best friend, his brothers. I am so unbelievably loved and although I often forget, when I look at my ring I am reminded.


It represents simplicity. It denotes a time in our lives where we had little but love. I know it sounds corny but it’s true. We got engaged with no full time job, no place to live, no plan, both in college, with no answers to any questions. We had very little, but what we had—each other—was more than enough.


The ring itself is just an object. It in and of itself holds no significant value. To most it pails in comparison to the many other more brilliant rings, but to me it holds a unique beauty, one that cannot be quantified, that cannot be sold.


But the most beautiful thing about my ring is not my ring itself {though I love it} it’s all my ring represents.


You see a ring won’t bring you happiness, or love. It won’t dry your tears or hold you when you are sad. Sure it’s nice to look at and it can make you happy, but its happiness won’t hold. A ring isn’t everything.


It’s not about the ring. It should represent more than just brilliance and sparkles.


In a Pinterest world girls focus on what kind they ring you want, instead of what kind of man they want, what kind of marriage they want. That’s really what’s it’s all about.


A ring isn’t everything.


{A R K I N T H E D E S E R T}



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